Casual Sex Relationships: What to Do When They Get Out of Hand

Are you in a casual sex relationship with a friend and concerned that your feelings for him are getting too serious? Are you worried that you are falling harder and harder for this guy who may not be interested in you romantically at all? Do you find yourself thinking about him all the time and having to stop yourself from calling or texting him just so that you don’t seem desperate? If any of this sounds like you, you might be in trouble. It’s time to figure out how to get out of this pseudo-relationship before you find yourself heartbroken.

Most of us have been in similar situations. The idea of a “friend with benefits” seems like a universal win. You don’t have the hassle of a full-on romantic relationship, but you still get to have an emotional (if platonic) connection with someone — and get laid, to boot. The problem here is that men are wired very differently from women, especially when it comes to sex. Men can easily have lots of sex with lots of different partners without becoming emotionally or psychologically attached. Women, however, have a few roadblocks in casual sex relationships.

Women tend to identify with and care for their sexual partners far more easily than men do. This is not to say that the situation never happens in reverse, but it is far more likely that a woman will start falling for her casual sex partner than a man will his — and that spells danger for you!

Recognize that the situation is not likely to change. It’s unrealistic to expect or even hope that the relationship’s boundaries will change simply because your level of interest has changed. If you are actually platonic friends with this man, it is even more important to end the relationship before your expectations get out of hand for the sake of salvaging the friendship.

So what do you do? Do nothing! Stop having sex with him. Stop spending time with him alone. Put some space between you and your (former) casual sex partner for a while. Go on dates with other guys to get your mind off of him. Let his phone calls go to voicemail. If you can’t avoid seeing him, invite other trusted mutual friends to the gathering to run defense for you. The bottom line is that you absolutely have to end the sexual relationship NOW, before things get even more out of hand.

When to End a Casual Sex Relationship

Did you take that extra step with a platonic male friend? Sure, it seemed like a good idea at first. You get along well with him, you can hang out for hours on end, and both of you are single. So why not satisfy each other sexually with no strings attached? You’ll always have that companion and you’ll have a partner in bed that doesn’t require as much work or emotion as a romantic relationship! But then reality sets in: you are starting to develop stronger feelings for him. You think about him when he’s not around. And every time you fool around with him, it becomes more and more obvious that you are starting to fall in love with him. If this is you, it’s probably a good time to end this relationship before it gets too ugly!

A casual sexual relationship with a good friend will almost inevitably start out fantastic. It seems like it solves all of your problems. You get to keep a supportive, functional platonic relationship going while adding a little spice for your needs. The unfortunate reality, however, is that women tie romantic feelings in with sex, regardless of whether it is conscious or not. Men are built for hit-and-run sexual encounters. It’s easy for them to have a little fun and walk away without any altered feelings. Women are not the same. Sex is a very intimate act, even if it is supposedly casual. A woman will enter the situation thinking they’re capable of managing their emotions, but often times they will take hold before she even notices. And the longer this relationship transpires, the bigger the risk of heartbreak.

The second you start realizing that your emotions are developing beyond the platonic, it is wise to end the casual sex relationship with your friend. You may entertain fantasies that he is feeling the same way, but that is very, very unlikely. It’s not going to happen. You need to protect yourself. So how do you do that?

It’s simple. Tell him no. Say no to answering his calls or messages. Say no to any suggested outings or anything resembling a date. Say no to him coming over late at night for a “booty call” when his other options fall through. Be unavailable. He will get the hint and you will save yourself from the eventual heartache that will accompany him ending the relationship — which will happen at some point if you don’t.

Remember that you both entered into this relationship with certain expectations on the table. Don’t be resentful that it didn’t turn in your favor, simply distance yourself until you feel you are healed. Then, hopefully, you can revive the platonic relationship (without sex!) and move on to a healthier relationship that is intended to be romantic.

Sex Relationship Advice – Contrary to Accepted Opinion Sexual Needs of Men and Women Are the Same

The area of sex relationship advice is one where there are many aspects to cover. Perhaps a good place to start would be to say it is a good idea, when getting involved in a relationship, not to rush into the sexual side of things.

Very often what happens is that men want to get involved sexually as soon as possible.

This can have such a negative effect on women as they can feel they are being treated as sexual objects, and there is no real interest in them as a person.

This can lead to relationship trust issues, thinking that is all men are interested in.

I was speaking with a woman recently who said she found it impossible to have a friendship with a male because of the sexual tension she experienced. It seems a lot of men do not know how to have platonic relationships with women. She regretted this and would like to have male friends. She is in her late fifties.

Some women can think they are being acknowledged when they agree to sex, and this can become a pattern.

They don’t recognize the sex relationship advice that what is happening is that they are being used.

If they do, they pretend not to, but it has a big effect on their self esteem. They can seem hearty and cheerful, but underneath, they don’t feel good about themselves.

As far as this sexual activity is concerned, I can think of several women who are in this grouping.

One is renowned among her friends for repeating this pattern. She is a lovely person but continues on this path. It seems it could be useful for her to get some professional sex relationship advice.

I recall a woman I saw as a client who was very much in this pattern, and she came to see me as she wanted to deal with it.

I was so amused, when, during the first session we had, she made some very obvious advances. I guess she was so used to behaving this way, and wasn’t even aware she was doing this with me.

I expressed my amusement to her, and we got on with our sex relationship advice session without any more advances from her!

When it comes to sex in a relationship, it is often only the man’s needs that are taken into account.

This can be for various reasons, such as, the man is only interested in meeting his needs and doesn’t think or care about the woman’s needs.

Or it can be thought that the man’s sexual requirements are greater and need to be met, and that women don’t have the same need. This can be the extent of the sex relationship advice that some people get.

Many believe womens’ sexual needs are taken care of through intercourse. This is the ‘hollywood style’ of sex we see portrayed so often.

Some women think they are meant to be satisfied sexually this way by having orgasms in intercourse. When they don’t, they can believe there is something wrong with them.

There are several points in relation to the sex relationship advice that can be made here.

Firstly, it is important to emphasize there is no difference in the sexual needs of men and women. Our needs are the same, contrary to the view that is constantly being put forward. This is one of the new relationship questions that needs to be answered at the early stages of any relationship.

That reminds me of these two older people who met and fell in love. They were talking about how things were going to be in their relationship and the man said to the woman “what about sex between us?” and her response was “infrequently,” and he said, “is that one word or two?!”

Secondly, a crucial point to make with regard to sex relationship advice, is, that women require stimulation of the clitoris to achieve orgasm. A lot of men do not know this and think women are meant to achieve orgasm in intercourse.

Some women do not know this themselves. During the time I worked in a sexual difficulties clinic, the most common issue being dealt with was women not having orgasms.

A survey of this group indicated all of them had sought help from other professionals such as doctors, psychiatrists or other therapists previously, without getting the help they required.

The most important sex relationship advice I can leave you with is to emphasize there is no difference in the sexual needs of men and women. The supposed differences that are commonly accepted is a result of the conditioning process we have all experienced. I expect for some of you that is going to be surprising information.